Lost :.:!

The pages scattered before the dawn could break. They flew where ever they could to save themselves from the delight of being discovered, being seen or being read because the hands that wrote upon them never would have wished to. But still there are many choices that we cannot make so those hands could just wish and the pages can only run a distance.

They were discovered, seen and read but there wasn’t delight, there wasn’t tears only the sun set with a pair eyes watching it. The eyes waited till the sunset and the darkness over took its place. It was her eyes, the eyes that he always wanted to stare into, talk to but could never do. She got up and walked into the lights that may fight their way into the thoughts but they couldn’t. They just stared at her and became blurred losing their own identity scattering every where.

She walked in silence to the café across the street. She looked up the lit sign, read it twice in her mind and before she entered she read it once again. She had never been to this place, only passed by whenever she walked to work and that was everyday. There were moments that she never knew just on the other side of the glass, she was always there but never witnessed it. She sat on the sixth table from the door, right where he used to sit, right where she never saw him, right where the pages were written.

A woman somewhere in her 50s came and asked her what she would like to have, she didn’t answer, she didn’t looked at her either. She asked again but she still didn’t answer and kept on looking at the pages. The stood there for a moment then turned to move back but suddenly she turned back again. She went closer to her and looked at the pages carefully and uttered in confusion “these are his pages” and suddenly the girl sitting turned back with so many questions in her eyes that couldn’t be answered even if she wrenched every word written in those pages and word the woman would speak. She owed her life to him and she meant many things to him.

She asked the woman “did you know him”, the woman just looked at her carefully and slowly her eyes widened “you are she, I mean you are one about whom he always wrote” and she sat in front of her and asked “where is he” she answered “ I only know these pages and they just say that he ain’t here in this world anymore, he died”. Tears rolled out the woman’s eyes, she asked the girl did you read the pages, the girl said she did. The woman asked did you ever see him, the girl answered “no”, the looked out of the glass and asked “did you ever heard him”, the girl said “no”. the woman got up and went behind the counter, she opened one of the racks and brought a small tape recorder and placed it in front of the girl and said “now you can hear him”. The looked at her with happiness and sadness at the same time. The woman said I once asked him “what would you say if you knew she could hear you and he answered” and she switched on the tape, a soft voice spoke “I do know, I love you, god I miss you and I forgive you”