Tuesday, February 23, 2010

THE CONSTITUTION OF “HMM”


Shuffling fingers on most the most recent rather contemporary way of communication I came across a consistent yet a varied expression, conforming to the only to the meaning in the moment it is uttered and then loses its identity to form a new one but to my notice it has mostly fallen under the title of females. I am talking about the expression ‘hmm’. In simple rather if thought in the language of business law it can be easily defined as ‘hmm is ( as may be defined under some law that may exist) a word or expression that is uttered by a person’, but like most of the definition of law it is not defined under section (2) rather you’ll find it in the dictionary with the definition ‘make a low, steady continuous sound like that of bee’. Well I would say beautifully defined and the ‘bee part’, is relevant if compared to females but as obvious we know bees are male except for the queen bee.

There are two contrast comparisons that I make, the first one being defining the word ‘hmm’ in terms of law and second being comparing females to bees. Right now I would only talk about the first comparison because I won’t like to hold any offenses against females as my reader I guess is a female right now but anyhow by the end of this note I would really hold some. So coming back to the first part, as I said it falls under the title of females, so it must be made a law because not understanding and violating the implied but yet not understood meaning, at a particular moment can cause a serious damage to the listening party who was deemed to understand that is the males. That is why I suggested my friend who by virtue of god and grace is a girl and to whom I owe courtesy of providing me some of the implied meaning, to publish it and distribute the copy of it to every needy boy.

So like all other constitutional definition, and also my version of lawful definition does not defines the term even the slightest bit nor does the version you may find in you dictionary, its explanation consists of various subsections which I am going to discuss now. The first one being:-

1. Whotever: - you may find the spelling a little out of order but this how my friend wrote and after, only if I want to exaggerate, much effort I was able to understand the importance of the word “o” in the spelling. “whAtever”, even thought rarely is only spoken by males and that too with the same meaning as it may appear in the dictionary but its “whOtever” that’s spoken rather implied by females through the word ‘hmm’. Now the question arises how to decipher that when does it imply “whOtever”, here comes the significance of the letter “O” in ‘whOtever’, “O” here shows attitude, arrogance, a thought that places the speaker too high in her own mind, a connotation of ‘I am beautiful’ (may or may not with the brains), I am wearing a beautiful dress today so I am on the seventh sky today and you stand nowhere, these are only some meaning that I could decipher. If you find any one of them, then you must understand the ‘hmm’ stands for ‘whOtever’ right now and the right course of action for you at that time would be don’t make her feel any more pricy at that moment of time neither do any thing to bring the thoughts that she has for herself that particular time, after all we are born in the culture of ‘ladies first’.

2. I AM SAYIN OK BT I REALLY DN’T CARE :- again here you may find some letters missing and like that first subsection the missing words only are the key to decipher the momentous meaning of the words ‘hmm’. The first missing letter is ‘g’ from saying, second is ‘u’ from but and the last one ‘o’ from don’t. These three words will solve the mystery of how and what does the expression mean at the time of utterance. The missing ‘g’, can be easily understood by the shortness of the word ‘hmm’ (the word has unique quality of being uttered too shortly and could be stretched too long to terrify), the more short it is the less interested is the girl in listening and agreeing to your talk try to guess it as soon as possible lest the significance of the missing ‘u’ will start raising its head. The missing ‘u’ signifies that you i.e. the male who is speaking, has started to irritate me and this can be easily noticed by the growing shortness of the sound of ‘hmm’. And last but surely not the one you would want is the missing “o” from the don’t, this is the last stage it significance resembles to the missing “o” in whOtever, but it’s a bit different, here its more over the the fault of the male to speak on the wrong topic to the wrong person still she is showing you some respect but better watch it before the missing “o” arrives because it will invoke irritation, anger may be a little bit of verbal abuse (although in the mind, girls have antiquates you know!!!)

And if you are in relationship with the girl to whom you are talking to you better understand it ASAP. In the last stage its just a very short crisp and loud “hmm”.

3. U R AN IDIOT :- now that may feel like an insult but you can’t do any thing and that’s the reason I want make it a law. Now I need not imply the missing word and their significance, I straight come to the point, the missing “y” and “o” from you, the “y” says rather raises a question why does god sends such person to me and the missing “o” can be better described by “ohh” which has two meaning, that too totally contradicting to one another. One can be like “ohh” as in a sad and misfortuned sigh, in simple words “not again” and the other meaning can be “ohh” as in a amusing surprise, that is, this fool is going to entertain me now, in simple words you are going to be clown. This “hmm” is of medium length but in a rhythm and the question how to understand which “ohh” it is, the answer is , what does it matter anyways you are an idiot.

4. I DIN KNOW THAT :- now that the real point for the males to feel heroic ( atleast there is something that she admits she doesn’t know and the most important is willing to listen, be happy guys that your lucky “hmm”). In this you’ll rather see a misplacement of “I” rather than a missing and when there is nothing missing there is some thing, in the brain and in the girl too. The misplaced “I” shows the cuteness, that most of the guys like. I would also like to add innocence to that but that may be only occasionally. This “hmm” has a beautiful sound to hear, the “H” is on a high note followed by a bit long stretched “mm” and the sound seems fading into her beautiful voice.

5. I UNDERSTUD :- ‘chatter box’ they not exist in the female species but the male species too but as far as men are concerned they are less concerned with gossips and totally not bothered about the beauty ( even though they are conscious about their looks and nobody knows how much time they spend combing their hairs looking into the mirrors of the parked cars), when talking to girl ( I intentionally call the female counterpart girl rather than women, as I do refer to men not boys is I don’t want to get into gender talks right now because it’ll become too messy to handle), they are more concerned about the presence of brain in them. When it comes to make things understand to a girl , according to most of then men they never understand but they tend to forget how much time they have spend in their schools and colleges staring at the beautiful female faculties that taught them.. so the misplaced “u” instead of “oo” says “you should shut up for god sake, I do have brains” and the missing “oo” can be referred to the “ooh” and that’s a critical stage because it starts with a persuading “hmm” and gets on to a violent “hmm”, they earlier you understand that tone and monitor yourself the better it for you because after then there would be some very loud serious talks. The tone of “hmm” here is very persuading the sound of “h” is stretched very long ending with a sharp emphasis on “m”, and the sound of “m” is very short but easily noticeable. Now the question arises, what if they understood in the wrong sense, which they normally do, the simple answer is “they understud”.

6. I DUN KNOW WHAT 2 SAY :- don’t start blinking your eyes looking at the digit “2” out there, I know girls are not good with numbers but the presence of a number here is somewhat related to saying above i.e. girls are not good with numbers. The missing “oo” and misplaced “u” this is the combination as in the above section but the meaning totally differs, just read the word “dun” how cute it sounds and innocent too but beware guys ‘the girl has got brains’ and that too sharp enough too fool you. the cuteness and innocence shown straight way points at two things ( not one ) , either she doesn’t knows the answer to your question and is using her cuteness and innocence to escape the repercussions of not giving and answer or s the answer she has is not the one you are anticipating. Here you should respect her feelings because she is trying not to break your heart or perception. So what about the “2”, it shows confusion as its normal with girls and numbers, confusion in the form of what to say and what not to. The sound of “hmm” here is very soft, mild like a puff of air. The sound of “h” seems coming from the neck not the mouth and is very deep and as it reaches “m” it comes to the mouth. Lastly the question arises in such a situation, its just simply “change the question”, you won’t won’t be able to fight that cuteness anyways.

7. I’LL RATHR NOT SAY NY THING COZ MIGHT SOUND STUPID :- scratching your brains that a might thing before she speaks and that too fear of sounding stupid, yes that was pretty unexpected acceptance by my friend but if she says it might be true because at least she is the one who will for sure think twice before speaking. And rather than scratching their brains guys should be happy for this statement as this clearly states she thinks the other person, that is the speaker, if not intelligent than at least interesting and worthwhile.

read it once more, the statement, very contemporary and yet expressing itself. This rather looks like a perfect sms language and that is an sms language, but this the language brings out the correct meaning. These words simply indicate that you are talking to a modern contemporary girl. In my view this is the type of girl you’ll love talking until and unless you have talk all of those age old classified romantics. The missing “e” from the rather represents the missing ego, don’t confuse the ego with self respect that is much more now than it used to be. The missing ego implies that you can talk some of your brainy stuff without the possibility of the above described “hmms”. She would readily accepts that she has lesser idea of the topic. The sound of this “hmm” would be quiet calm and firm, not too stretched nor too short, of the perfect length. As always the question at the end is how quickly you have to recognize that, well there is no hurry for that, you are the brainy guy (at least for once ) enjoy the show dude.

Monday, October 5, 2009

A Beautiful Curse

What if I could have been somebody else, what could I have chosen not to be what I am now, what i have been all these years. Would it have made any difference to alleviate the suffering of my heart? This was the question I asked myself when i was six years old, at that tender age precocious mind, precocious not because I knew much more than I should, but understanding pain mine and of others and ways of alleviating it, could answer nothing more than a skeptical ' yes '.

Today after so many years the same question finds way to my turbulent mind resting peacefully far away from nexus to my past. Just the change remains " could t make any difference to everybody else around me, lessen the suffering I have presented them? and the answer........

I remember my adolescent steps moving in the precinct of an unusual place, to be more precise not a place out of this world but nobody likes being there but still is in someway thankful being there rather on streets because you get to eat much easily than being on the later part. Being unusual or uncommon does not in anyway supress the importance of its existence, so many unsatisfied emotions in relationship, a little too much infidelity, a wish to live it, gives birth to illegitimate children like me, living in ruthless but relevant place........orphanage .

from my early childhood i stayed divided between my imagination and reality, trying to create balance between the two,,, a balance always lifted more towards the imagination to supress the reality and i was able to in this way i was precocious.

Thursday, October 1, 2009

JOURNEY....TO

This story is for a recent friend of mine....she always says she has a normal life...this is my view to make her life a bit more interesting......

like breath many things in life we stop noticing....it becomes so much of part of our life....but when at some part of our life it stops even for a second we feel the change taking over us....
Like every day she got up at 10:00, half awake, peeping at the wall clock with the side of half open eye only to curse it to be so fast...a voice shouting at the back, "its already 10 how much more you wanna sleep", its her mother....she got up walked stumbling to the bathroom, splashed some water on her face to become a little more alert..only to put the tooth brush with any tooth paste on it into her mouth...she brushed her teeth in the same manner and again splashed some water on the face, it was then that she realized what happened....she brushed up again took a bath and was out for the breakfast..
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oh...sorry in all that i forgot to introduce her even....she is Sonia, a good looking girl...with round face, straight and beautiful hairs which always come on face from the side...most of the time i have seen her smiling,,,for me she she remains as two different person...thats my perception...coz i want to believe that...(no offences plzz...)

The whole day was planned,,, she had to go for shopping, visit a friend's house,,have a little a fun and back....she had her breakfast and was out on the road, looking both side of the road for an auto ( i am giving her an auto coz i still don't know she drives or not), with a little hassle over the money she boarded the auto....while sitting in the auto, she never looked too much of here and there, she took out her cellphone and scanned through the messages and calls just to pass the time....then she just wrote a message.."hi..where are we meeting today...jst msg me, i'll be there at abt 12:30...",,, just then the auto reached the destination, she had to get down so in a hurry instead of looking in the phone book she just typed the number she remembered and sent the message....she was in the mall, she had to shop for a couple of jeans and t-shirts for herself but shopping alone wasn't fun...so she called another friend who just lived near by,,,,till the time she arrived she sat in coffee shop,,,while sitting there her phone rang, she had a message..

"see you near the riverside...." it was from the same number she had sent the message to...

her friend came and then there was an hour of scanning through the shops,,number of trials,,,finally she was over by 12:00, just then again message came from the same number .."hey are you coming.."...she replied back " ya..i'll be there in half an hour"...that was the last message she sent....she stepped out..her friend said "ok i got to go now, where are going"...she anewered' "i got to meet shriya today, we have some plans" they both said bye and she boarded an auto again..this time things were a bit a different she didn't took out her cellphone, neither did she think any thing, just a small smile on her face...she again removed the strands of hairs that came on her face from the wind blowing into the auto.....

weather outside had also changed the wind was cool now,,, sun was dim...everything in life outside seemed a bit slow.....aftersome time the auto was near the destination... she checked her cellphone there was no calls or messages... she kept the phone back to the pocket and got out, paid to the autodriver and walked towards the riverside....

everything around there was quiet and calm..few ripples on the surface water distorting the the reflection of sky......not many people around....for one minute she was relaxed feeling with the wind...but she soon became impatient and looked at the watch,,,shriya was still not there, they were meeting after three months, since shriya left the city to complete her studies...but she didn't understood why did she called her here.....although the place was beautiful and the weather made it look more scenic.....but it wasn't a place to hangout with friends.......

she took out her cellphone and she was about to have a look at the screen, she heard a beautiful song, it was one of her favorite, she lowered the phone, sat down for a while enjoying the music, weather and the beauty...she was a bit lost and didn't realize the clouds turning black....they were on the verge of raining,. the music slowly diminished and she came back to senses and called Shriya. she said, "hey I have been waiting for long out here, where are you", shriya replied," what, i have been waiting for your call from the morning, you never called or messaged", she said" I messaged you early in the morning and it was you who called me here", she answered "Sonia i didn't, i guessed you messaged to somebody else...whatever come over to my place" In the while her phone began to beep as the battery was low..

she hung the phone and looked at the message she sent.. she looked at the number she sent the message to and confirmed it with the phone book, it was then she realized that she has been sending the message to a wrong number,,, but moreover she was angry who was on the other side who called her here, she was about to call the number but the her phone went off. she looked at the sky and decided to move as fast as possible. she got up and and moved towards the road but it was a bit late the rain had already begun and it was pretty fast...

anyhow she managed to reach the road but there was no one to be seen..There was no vehicle to be seen….she turned around already there were less people around when she came here,, and now only three or four people that too at a distance…there were no shops or shelter to stay….every thing in fraction of second seemed deserted…and for that moment her heart skipped a beat....

She again turned to look at the road to find a convence,,but no luck at all , or in other words luck was working against her,,her phone was switched of , nobody knew where she was,,she is left alone in deserted place in this heavy rain..she felt angry, helpless and confused at the same time..why was this happening to her? That was only question she had in her mind…(and this is the question that will coming in her mind)..

Just opposite of the road there was tree, she ran under it, now her heart was beating faster, she didn’t knew what to do where to go, for that moment her life came to stand still….she stood there for a moment but it was no use the rain was too hard for the tree to restrain…she was wet by now and the wind was getting cold…..she had to find some place else to cover herself, moving to the other side of the tree she looked around…there was junk car at a little distance…

She looked up at the sky and the tree…the rain didn’t seemed stop and the tree had started to drip very faster it wasn’t viable to stand there any more….she again looked at junk car …she pondered over the thought of going to the car…it was deserted, there was nobody else…why is this happening to me? She again thought…she stood there looking at the car for about fifteen minutes, till then she was totally and the started to feel cold.. she closed her eyes, clasped her fist tightly breathed heavily twice and ran towards the car…reached the door of the car…the seats were tattered,, the front glass was cracked but not totally broken…she pulled the handle bar and the door creaked open…she went inside and close the door…it was warm inside,,,,she closed her eyes, pulled her hairs back..gradually her breath slowed down….

Her eyes were heavy now..she looked out the water didn’t seemed to stop…she laid back and slowly slept…